Hi, 2021,

I fell asleep at 11:30 pm on New Year's Eve. I was watching old Forensic Files episodes and sipping a glass of Barefoot wine. My fiance woke me up with a kiss, a glass of water, and turning the lights off so I could go back to sleep.

It was great.

2020 has helped me appreciate the little moments in a way I never dreamed. Instead of rushing around the house on my lunch hour, trying to clean everything before I get back to my desk — I spend 15 minutes playing with my cat, and you know what? It’s worth it. His happy purrs, his sleepy eyes, and great big stretches show me how happy he is to have my undivided attention during the day.

My therapist recommended that I take up a hobby. Maintaining a schedule and slowing down is hard for me. So I will be taking part in my hobby whenever Nathaniel is taking part in his hobbies. I am terrified; I don’t think my therapist knows how long it takes to build, prime, and paint a Warhammer figurine army.

Normally I write out all of the things I want to accomplish in the upcoming year, “It’s not a resolution,” I insist to myself as I set up a tracker, check-ins, and goal markers. “It’s something I need to do,” I say as I divide my day into sections, calculating the exact amount of time I need to spend on a Task.

Not anymore.

I know I want to read more, and I know I want to write more- so I have 3 unread books on my shelf and this medium blog.
I know I want to cook more, so I got an apron for Christmas and some kitchen storage containers.

I’m letting 2021 just come, go and be. 2020 taught me it is impossible to prepare for everything, and while my OCD, ADHD, and Anxiety are FUMING, I have to accept this as fact. I can’t control everything globally; I can’t control everything in my own life; I can only control how I respond and react.

So, I’m going to react with homemade meals, imperfect embroidery hoops, half-read books, and unfinished TV shows.

It’s going to be great.